Half of The Muck-Rake Completely Perplexed Why Other Half of The Muck-Rake Put Up ‘Salsa Rancho’ Banner

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AMHERST, Ma. – Half of the editors of The Amherst Muck-Rake expressed confusion Sunday as to why the other half of the venerable news source’s editorial management chose to change its website’s banner to read “Salsa Rancho’s **Spicy** Muck-Rake; Cinco de Mayo Edition.”

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‘Amherst Student’ Celebrates Release of ‘Very Funny’ Issue

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AMHERST, Ma. – Supportive family and friends cheered the hard work and wonderful stories of the Amherst Student “staff” Wednesday after the roll-out of the “newspaper’s” April Fools edition.  “Great job,” numerous attendees told the publication’s writers over a celebratory “feast” of Chex Mix and Lorna Doones in the Student’s makeshift “newsroom” as educators urged the team to give itself “a big round of applause.”

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TLC’s ‘Dean of Mean’ James Larimore to Revamp Amherst this April

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AMHERST, Ma. – Discovery Communications announced Wednesday that James Larimore, the itinerant dean of students and celebrity host of the hit TLC show “Dean of Mean,” will shoot his next episode at Amherst College, “storming” the beleaguered school this April for a “top-to-bottom power-cleaning that takes this dry, sexist hellhole from worst to first.”

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