New Bonfire Resource Center on Track for 2017 Completion



AMHERST, MA – In an effort to spark conversation with alumni about what the school is doing to be “lit” in 2017, the Office of Student affairs has created a new Bonfire Resource Center. Provided at the center will be the remaining manuscripts from the Library of Alexandria, Matches, Public computers with FREE printing (in the bonfire), hot coffee and tea (very hot), and a space for students to set things on fire, together.

During  the opening ceremony, President Martin will preside over the traditional Bonfire Reaping to select the new Chief of Student Affairs following Suzanne Coffey’s demise in the arena.


ACPD: Noose Incident Resolved, Over, Donezo, No Further Action or Discussion Required



Dear Students, Faculty, and Staff,

Now that two juveniles have been identified as the perpetrators of this heinous act of racism, the Amherst College community has no need to think about, to act on, or to talk about the noose incident ever again. The campus is clearly devoid of any form of bigotry or discrimination, so let’s just all go to sleep and forget this ever happened. You’re in the clear, OK? Move on because it’s over, it’s done.

We appreciate the patience and support of the community while the matter was investigated. Now it’s time to quietly let this one go.

-The Amherst College Police Department