CAB Drops Last Minute Spring Concert Bomb

As you may have heard, this spring concert Amherst will be celebrating the return of some of its former members: join us in welcoming back college dropouts Chelsea Cutler and Corry Colonna (having just released his newest album, “Unplugged, Unemployed, and Unashamed”). You may be wondering why he’s playing an electric guitar on his album ‘Unplugged.’ Unplugged doesn’t mean he can’t plug in, it just means no WATTS.

And it’s not only the dynamic duo Corry and Chelsea that are stopping in for the concert! Other names we already know and love are also returning, like Those Students Returning from Abroad (aka the Chainsmokers), the Dan Brown Band, and the iconic trio of Stone, Crossett, and Pond (aka The Weeknd). Unfortunately, we were unable to book Logic, and thus will be featuring Suzanne Coffey (aka Absence of Logic). Representatives from the Campus Activities Board have said “We are so so sorry, we didn’t think we would get this desperate. Again, sorry”

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