To help put the savings of a new cable policy into perspective for students, the Amherst IT department has released a list of potential purchases that could be made with the savings. The list, which many experts are heralding as “accurate,” “redundant,” and “I know how much $100,000 costs,” is as follows:
- Giant clothespins in every dorm
- An old science center
- The avocados Val promises us if we would stop stealing plates
- Another office for professor Sarat
- An actual mammoth
- Only Brazzers on every TV on campus
- A Robocop suit for a certain Amherst College police officer
- Less than half the monetary value of an Amherst education
- Infinitely more than the real value of an Amherst education
- 100,000 $1 bills
- 60 channel-cable for every student on campus
Choose wisely, Amherst!