An Old Science Center, Avocados Among Possible Items to be Bought with $100,000 Cable Savings

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US100000dollarsbillobverseTo help put the savings of a new cable policy into perspective for students, the Amherst IT department has released a list of potential purchases that could be made with the savings. The list, which many experts are heralding as “accurate,” “redundant,” and “I know how much $100,000 costs,” is as follows:

  • Giant clothespins in every dorm
  • An old science center
  • The avocados Val promises us if we would stop stealing plates
  • Another office for professor Sarat
  • An actual mammoth
  • Only Brazzers on every TV on campus
  • A Robocop suit for a certain Amherst College police officer
  • Less than half the monetary value of an Amherst education
  • Infinitely more than the real value of an Amherst education
  • 100,000 $1 bills
  • 60 channel-cable for every student on campus

Choose wisely, Amherst!