Admitted Student Really Is OK With Sleeping On Your Shitty Floor, Please, Don’t Worry About It

dorm floor

“It’s totally cool,” said your pre-frosh Betty Jensen. “I honestly don’t care that much about basic human necessities, they aren’t really my thing. And the bumps in your rug match my scoliosis perfectly. Honestly, I should be thanking you for giving me such a character-building place to sleep.”