Classics Professor Proudly Puts Lone Classics Thesis Up On Break-Room Fridge

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“We really are quite a small department,” said Edward Roth, Amherst Classics Professor. “Many of the students, well,  they don’t even know we exist. And the professors in other departments… why, they bully us something fierce. They yell ‘dead language’ at us when they see us in the halls.  They talk to us in pig-Latin and then laugh. Last week Ilan Stavans threw a copy of The Aeneid at my cranium.”

Roth sighed and gingerly rubbed the top of his head, “Anyway,  to have a student write a Classics thesis, well, it’s something that doesn’t happen terribly often and we sure are mighty proud of it.”

“Unfortunately and ironically,” said the thesis’ author Harold Cho, ’17, “the department is not considered important enough to give out Latin honors, so I won’t be able to graduate Summa Cum Laude…but I did get three sparkly smiley face stickers, so that’s something.”

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