Density of Muck-Rake Lacrosse Jokes Creates Black Hole, Destroys Muck-Rake

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Amherst, MA – After publishing its eighth article making fun of the lacrosse team in as many days, the immense pressure created by said articles caused the Muck-Rake to violently collapse into an infinitely dense singularity. There were no survivors.

“They should have known better,” said Amherst physics professor David S. Hall, “packing that many lazy jabs into such a small space was bound to have catastrophic consequences. Given their track record, I’m amazed this didn’t occur sooner.”

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