Report: “Just a Few More Weeks of School” Actually a Really Long Fucking Time

calendar.jpg

Amherst, MA – In a statement released earlier this morning, President Biddy C. Martin remarked, “Don’t be fooled: The remaining weeks o’ school ain’t gonna be quick and they ain’t gonna be easy.” She continued, “That’s right folks, it’s time to brace ourselves ’cause we’re looking at days that feel more like millenia and weeks that are never ending.” The president’s statement serves as a warning to students and administrators, alike, as they continue to count down the days to summer break. Faculty and staff have also confirmed Biddy’s statement. More updates on the latest time predictions to follow.

Advertisements