Student Eating Grab-N-Go in Class Captures More Attention Than Professor


AMHERST, MA – Unwrapping a bacon-avocado sandwich during his 12:30 class, “Race and Economics in the 20th century”, sophomore Erik Cerplunski consistently captured the attention of his classmates far more than his professor. “Sorry, I didn’t have breakfast,” the captivating student muttered under his breath as he continued to pull plastic wrap away from his sandwich slowly in a prolonged, failed attempt to lower the amounts of noise while drawing the attention of over half the class. A loud click and hiss was heard as he opened a Diet Coke and guzzled it down with an audible “Ahh”, which enraptured the students sitting behind, adjacent, and in front of him more than the professor’s explanation of the rise of the black middle class. At press time, Cerplunski was shaking and  tapping the bottom of his bag of Sun Chips for those little pieces at the bottom.