Senior “Too Busy Working on Thesis” to Attend Final Thesis Meeting


Amherst, MA — Confined to C Level, Ryan Strobl ’15 regretfully informed his advisor yesterday that he was “too busy” working on his thesis to attend his final thesis meeting with advisor Professor Sanderson. Strobl’s psychology thesis, “Love the One You’re With: An Examination of Amherst Dating Culture,” is due in just under a week.

Strobl reached out to Sanderson just before missing this last meeting, promising that the “thesis is going great, making a lot of progress, won’t be able to make it in today, though. Same time next week?”

However, little is known about either Strobl or his recent progress. Witnesses have reported muttering coming from the cubicle where Strobl was last seen, as well as an accumulation of coffee cups and foul odor in the general vicinity.

Tyler Ward ’15, a senior living on the second floor of King with Strobl, says that he has not seen his floor mate in three days, but he had received multiple e-mails begging him to take “Ryan’s stupid thesis survey about dating.”

Professor Sanderson has requested that any student who encounters Strobl to direct him to her office.