[SPON] Unsuspicious Dude Selling Normal Jackets


Brrrrrrrrrrrr. You feel that? It’s a cold one out there today. And jacket companies companies keep JACK-ing up the prices during the dead of winter to leave YOU out in the COLD.

Want a jacket? Need a jacket? Recently lost a jacket?

Well I’ve got the answer for you: just a normal, regular-type jacket that I’m selling out of my dorm room.
My prices: Affordable!
My jackets: Absolutely normal!

Here’s how it works: my dad, who works for Burlington Coat Factory back home, periodically ships me surplus jackets on Friday and Saturday nights. Surplus jackets! Jackets no one really wanted, that were just left out there for someone to take really, at the Coat Factory, that is. That’s it. That’s the long and short of it. And frankly I don’t know why so many people are asking questions about my legitimate business operation here.

You know what? Listen, bub, just because I have a jacket that looks a lot like the one you lost in Stone doesn’t mean it’s your jacket. You’re familiar with fashion, right? The popular jackets, the jackets that everyone likes to wear, they make more of them so there’s a surplus. And that’s what this is, a normal surplus jacket selling enterprise out of my dorm room, ok? OK?

What it comes down to is, I’ve got jackets and you need jackets, alright? Supply and demand. It’s cold out and I’m not asking much for ‘em, man. Just asking that you stop asking so many questions.

“Why does it smell like Keystone?” I don’t know, man. Maybe they drink a lot of Keystone at Burlington Coat factory. Jesus.

So anyways, there’s no better deal in town. And we even have a bargain bin—whatever you find in the pockets is yours. I don’t ask any questions, and you don’t ask any questions. Alright. Enough chit-chat: you gonna take this North Face or no?