Six o’clock in the evenin’
I’m stretchin’ and eatin’
In a Val booth on my own
When a voice yells, “Can I sit here? You’re all alone.”
Then a girl sits across from me
Don’t know this person, can I get free?
But then her friends sit down
I move over, trying not ta frown
Like, what have I done?
I wish that I could run
Now I’ve got this dumb look on my face
How could I be so stupid to have sat in this place?
Must of lost track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
When I entered the Val throng
Didn’t plan to stay this long
Now here I am tryin’ to put on my jacket
Searchin’ for my I.D., tryin’ not to make a racket
Then another girl slides in too
I say, “Sorry can I get pass you?”
She says, “Come on now, don’t be sour
I’ll be done in less than an hour”
Stared at her like she was crazy
Said, “Look, I know everyone’s lazy
“But I have a lot of stuff to do
So please just let me get through”
She says, “You can’t go this way
Look more of our friends are coming to stay!”
Still don’t know anyone at this table
Would leave if I was able
For now, I guess I’ll just keep quiet
Wait I’m still hungry—I hate this Val booth diet!
Maybe I can slide under?
Would these people notice, I wonder?
Shit! someone sees what I’m doing
I sit back up; pretend I’m still chewing
And then I think I can climb out on top
Nope, this orange covering makes me stop!
So now I’m in the booth, like man, what the fuck is going on?
Who are they even talking about?
Never even heard of this guy named Sean.
So sick of this dinner conversation
The inside of this booth is the worst location
Plus I feel like I’m dyin’ of starvation
Then the people next to me get up to look for Sriracha
This is my moment, freedom—I finally gotcha
And just when I think I can slip out
This big guy sits down; yep, he blocks my route
He starts arguing with a girl sitting across
I try to interrupt, but I’m at a loss
They’re a couple, havin’ a meetin’
The guy thinks the girl is cheatin’
And then he suddenly notices me
Oh god, now I have to flee
He says, “Have you been seein’ this one, too?”
She says, “No, I would never cheat on you.”
I say, “I’m sorry I don’t know you guys”
He says, “Don’t tell me all your stupid lies”
I say, “Look, I never even met her”
And I pull out my Beretta.
I say, “I really need to leave
Could you just stand up please!?”
He says, “This ain’t gon’ fly!
I gotta know the reason why
You’re sitting in this Val booth
And we’re not leaving ‘til I know the truth”
So, yeah I’m in this Val booth
Pretty much trapped in this this Val booth
Guess I’m never leaving this Val booth (Val booth…)