MUCK-RAKE INVESTIGATIVE CENTER, Amherst, MA — Boy oh boy, look at what we’ve found. Hot off the presses, it looks like—and this could be wrong—but it looks like the Mount Holyoke version of Moodle is called ISIS. Just like the terrorist organization.
Just imagine, right? ISIS is a big deal in the news. Is it still called ISIS? ISIL? All I know is this is a hot scoop if I’ve ever seen one. Me and the boys on the Muck-Rake Investigative team are going nuts with questions.
First off, is Mount Holyoke’s ISIS the same as the terrorist organization? It seems like it would be a weird coincidence otherwise, so we called ’em up. No answer. We learned, through our investigations, that everyone at Mount Holyoke had the day off to get some exercise and fresh air. All right, sounds good, but that brings us to the next question.
Are today’s coordinated training “exercises” related to the ISIS infiltration of Mount Holyoke College? Clearly the conspiracy here runs deep, and right when we start asking questions, the entire school basically up and leaves.
More questions still remain: has ISIS been gaining ground outside of its Mount Holyoke stronghold? Will Obama respond with strategic air strikes around the Blanchard Campus Center? Is the ISIS service user friendly for Mount Holyoke students?
Now, this could be overblown. ISIS could merely be an information network for the school to share class schedules and the like, as the site explicitly explains, but the Muck-Rake is going to keep asking questions to get you, our dear readers, the answers you deserve.