Students Express Support for “Great Wall of Route Nine-a”

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AMHERST, Ma. –  Perhaps concrete solutions will flow from campus dialogue.

Following a recent discussion led by President Martin, sophomore Economics and Asian Language and Civilizations (Chinese) major Josh Locklin’s proposal to erect a “Great Wall of Route Nine-a” has quickly gained campus-wide approval.

“After Peter Uvin suggested that we create ‘solid, reasonable plans of action’ to prevent anything like the events of last weekend from happening again, it just came to me,” Locklin explained of his idea to construct an enormous wall along Route 9 to protect Amherst College from invading UMass students.  “I mean, come on, it worked for the Chinese with the Mongols.”

Locklin’s solution has earned him a hero’s reputation on campus and has gained formal approval from several  student groups, including Random Acts of Kindness and the Paper Arts Club. Even the members of the Swimming and Diving teams and Water Polo Club have voiced support, rescinding their proposal to encircle campus with a 12-foot-wide moat.

Students and administrators alike are eager for the project to commence. “When you think about it,” says Russian major Sarah Hannigan ’15, ” it’s really no more ambitious than last year’s science center project.”