AMHERST, Ma. – Following on the heels of Valentine Dining Hall’s much-beloved “Thanksgiving Dinner” night, Dining Services has announced a festive new option for students on the move this Thanksgiving. “We know that the busy students of today might not have time in their schedules to go home and have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with their families,” explained Director of Dining Services Charlie Thompson in a Muck-Rake exclusive interview, “so we created ‘All You Can Grab-N-Go’ with all of you in mind.”
The new dining option, which students may choose instead of the usual turkey dinner in the warmth and comfort of their own homes, will allow students to grab as many of the ordinary Grab-N-Go offerings as they like, so long as they remain “physically capable of going” in the process. “You want eight yogurt cups? 14 bags of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips? All the Coastal Road coffee you can drink?” a visibly excited Thompson asked the Muck-Rake staff rhetorically. “If you can go with it, you can grab it.”
Torin Moore, Director of Residential Life, was similarly excited for the new offering. According to Moore, “through a not-at-all-questionable partnership with All College, Inc., the College has procured hundreds of storage boxes and laundry bags to help students make the most of their Thanksgiving Grab-N-Go experience. Fill up a bag or box with food, and remember All College, Inc. next time you’re doing laundry or moving out!”
Dining Services has confirmed that the Grab-N-Go sandwich staple Roast Turkey with Aged White Cheddar on a Multigrain Roll will not be served.