CONVERSE HALL/CLARK HOUSE, Amherst, Ma. – Austin Sarat will be teaching a new Mellon Colloquium Seminar dedicated to determining which of his offices is best, the revered professor confirmed Thursday. Sarat, the William Nelson Cromwell Professor of Jurisprudence and Political Science, was promoted to Associate Dean of the Faculty this summer, and students were beginning to speculate whether the famed Professor’s teaching career was over. So it came as a pleasant surprise to many when Sarat announced yesterday that he would be teaching “Offices, Arrogance, and the Law” in the spring of 2014.
“My new course’s subject is both practical and deeply personal,” said Sarat, while tossing a baseball with one of his favorite students, who happened to be on the Men’s Baseball Team. “We will look into the very spaces in which the greatest mind of the 21st century operates, and determine what kinds of offices are best suited for a genius…such as myself.”
COLQ-235 will meet once a week on Wednesdays from 2-4:30, the location rotating between Dean Sarat’s new office in Converse Hall and his recently renovated office in Clark House. Students will conduct research on the pros and cons of each office, analyzing such qualities as how many of Sarat’s books each office can hold, whether or not the office has the space for a t-shirt production line, and how having two enormous offices definitely does not mean you’re compensating for something, according to the syllabus.
“Are you getting a ‘you-should-take-this-class’ tingle?” the world’s premier expert on the death penalty asked, imploringly. “Because the subject matter here is important. Not only will students benefit from learning first-hand how to research in an academic context, but they’ll also be helping me with a near-impossible life decision as to where I should spend more of my time.”
Students should be advised that space in the class is limited. Only sophomores and juniors may register for the course, and if overenrolled, preference will be given to LJST majors, baseball players, and girls who are willing to wear low-cut tops.