Fraternities Set to Convert Alpine Commons into ‘Frat Castle’

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AMHERST, Ma. – Members of Amherst College’s Chi Psi, Delta Kappa Epsilon, and Fraternity Formerly Known as Theta Delta Chi fraternities ratified a proposal Wednesday to move all three organizations’ rising senior members into the Alpine Commons apartment complex.  The proposal, introduced at last night’s meeting of the Society of Amherst Fraternity Conspirators, embraces Amherst Dean of Residential Life Torin Moore’s friendly invitation to members of the college’s Class of 2014 to live in the complex to alleviate a projected campus housing shortage next year.

“I like the name,” said FFKaTDX President Anders Hoedeklaark ’13.  ”‘Alpine’ has such a nice ring to it.  Huh.”

Chi Psi representatives at the meeting expressed joy at the prospect of college-sponsored off-campus housing, citing over three million pages of Amherst Association of Students and Board of Trustees precedent confirming that fraternity activity in such an off-campus location would comply with the letter of the college’s fraternity policy.

The Muck-Rake contacted several alleged DKE members for comment, but each one responded, “Nah, dude, I dropped out.”

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