AMHERST, Ma. – Amherst College Head of Facilities Peter Root announced late Monday that the completion of the college’s yet-unfinished Multicultural Resource Center (MRC) would be postponed a further three weeks following a student performance of Baauer’s “Harlem Shake.”
Citing the crippling effects of co-opting Black culture by members of the Association of Amherst Students, Root reported in a joint statement with the college’s newly appointed interim MRC director that the center’s opening would require an additional three weeks in order to repair the damage to campus race relations and general social life coherence wrought by the dance.
Despite Amherst’s extensive experience with “destroying minority culture,” Root announced the performance had caused unprecedented psychological harm immediately after several AAS senators and amused onlookers “shook as they do in Harlem.”
“Indeed, the only viral element of this video was how quickly it raised already high tensions among the campus’s diverse constituencies,” Root declared. “I don’t quite understand what happened, but we have to let the dust settle.”
The new MRC interim chief concluded the joint press release by announcing her resignation, claiming that she was wholly unprepared for the present state of affairs.