Karen Sanchez-Eppler Trapped Under Giant Blanket of Yarn

Karen Sanchez-Eppler

AMHERST, Ma. – Emergency responders rushed to the scene Tuesday following news that Amherst College Chair of American Studies and Professor of English Karen Sanchez-Eppler was trapped under an enormous quilt of her own making.  Distressed witnesses reported finding Sanchez-Eppler wholly enveloped by the gigantic wool covering that she has been casually knitting continuously since 1997.  Sanchez-Eppler has knitted the fabric without interruption through classes, faculty meetings, commencements, Logan Airport security screenings, Super Bowl XLIV, sleep, a ski vacation, and her wedding to Benigno Sanchez-Eppler.  Amherst Fire Department accident-scene technicians successfully extracted Sanchez-Eppler from the seemingly interminable, autumnal-toned blanket with the aid of the department’s Jaws of Life.  Sanchez-Eppler was subsequently admitted to Cooley Dickinson Hospital for precautionary observation, where she began to knit a sock.