Fake Blonde Is Outed, Expelled From Swimming Team


PRATT POOL – An undisclosed male sophomore swimmer has been released from the  Men’s Swimming & Diving Team for violating team policy, according to a source with knowledge of the situation.  “We extended ourselves personally and professionally to him,” said head coach Nick Nichols in a statement earlier today, “but we were at an obvious impasse. It was deemed in the interest of the program to go in different directions.”

The sophomore, who competed mostly in the 50 and 100 back, was not considered one of the programs top performers – “Because of his hair!” said Nichols. “Have you seen it?”