Michael Steele Accidentally Sets Tie Ablaze

JOHNSON CHAPEL, Amherst College – Amherst Political Union speaker Michael Steele accidentally missed his flight, scraped his rental car, and set his tie on fire en route to his appearance in a series of fitting representations of his existence.  Tripping on the final step to the dais of Johnson Chapel and colliding with his podium, the former Republican National Committee chairman also acknowledged choking on an airport muffin, drawing the hotel room next to the ice machine, and accidentally driving south down I-91 to New Haven before despondently turning around.  Steele, who was not invited to this year’s Republican National Convention despite having chaired the party less than two years ago, made his remarks during a presentation cut short to thirty minutes due to a room-reservation conflict with the Amherst Outing Club.