Arkes Receives Sweat-Resistant Suit

COLE ASSEMBLY HALL, Converse Hall – Calling it “perhaps the best gift I’ve ever received,” Edward N. Ney Professor of Political Science Hadley Arkes spent Thursday breaking in a specially designed, state-of-the-art sweat-repellent suit, a gift from the students in his course “Political Obligations.”

Steven Grossman ’14 said the class was concerned that Arkes was losing too much salt content over the course of a lecture. “By the end of the class, there was usually a pool of liquid in the middle of the Red Room,” he said. “All in all, it was pretty foul.”

According the Grossman, the sweat begins to form just below his right breast but then quickly spreads to the rest of his upper body.

Constructed at the University of Maryland’s Space Systems Laboratory, the suit uses Panox/Kevlar tissue with aluminum coating to keep sweat off indefinitely.

Staff scientist Steven MacLean said he was proud of the final product. “There were several unique challenges associated with designing an outfit for Mr. Arkes,” he said, “but I think we pulled through in the end.”

The suit also comes with an inner liner, a liquid cooling and ventilation system, a pressure bladder, a restraint layer, another liner, and a thermal micrometeoroid garment. Mr. MacLean assured that the suit would be capable of keeping Arkes sweat-free in temperatures up to 28 degrees Celsius.

“It’s pretty neat,” said Arkes through the pressurized upper capsule.  On “various related notes,” Arkes added, “those poor, poor dead fetuses, some with their little heads already protruding the uterus, blood everywhere, threatening state commerce….”