Hampshire Misses Re-Registration for Five College Consortium

AMHERST, Ma. – Hampshire College failed to renew its membership in the Five College Consortium Sunday after forgetting to submit the online registration form before noon. “We’re disappointed that we missed the boat on this,” said Hampshire President Jonathan Nash, whose college was de-listed from Five College course offerings and whose students are no longer eligible to enroll in classes at Amherst, Mount Holyoke, or Smith colleges or the University of Massachusetts.

Sources said that Hampshire, renowned for its progressive, alternative educational approach and lack of letter grades, had meant to re-enroll the night before but was distracted by a hallmate’s offer of an Ecstasy tablet around 9:45 p.m. Following the encounter, “We’re not quite sure what happened,” said Hampshire Director of Public Relations Katy Mendes-Stein. Several students reported observing the college running nakedly through the woods around the campus, possibly in possession of the flag of the Republic of Chad.

The failure to re-register will deprive the college of access to Five College academic and research resources, including the UMass W.E.B. DuBois Library and the Amherst Mead Art and Beneski Science museums. However, the disadvantages are mutual, as students in the newly renamed Four College Consortium will lose access to Hampshire’s National Yiddish Book Center and Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, except during normal visiting hours.

In a statement following the failed re-enrollment, Four College Executive Director Andrew Guggenheim reported, “We’re pleased.”

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